Attendants and Guests

Can I Exclude My Parents' Pals?

My parents keep asking people to our wedding. Are we under any obligation to follow through on these invites?

No invite is set in stone unless it’s accompanied by an actual invitation. The first thing to do is to make sure you know what the maximum capacity is for your reception space—this can be your most useful argument against overdoing the guest list. The next thing to do is to get on the phone and say, ”Whoa, Nelly!” to your parents.

Of course, you need to be sensitive to who’s paying for what. If your parents are footing the reception bill, you may not be able to pull in the reins too tightly. Of course, it’s a whole different ball game if you and your fiancé are paying for the gig.

In that case, if your parents insist on going over their allotted quota of guests, suggest that they pay for the additional invites. But keep in mind that if you allow your parents to invite 50 people and your fiancé’s parents only 25, that discrepancy might not sit too well with some family members. So be as fair as possible, and you’ll improve your chances of everything coming out happily-ever-after.