Attendants and Guests

How Should I Tell My Friend She's Not a Bridesmaid?

It was so hard to decide on my bridesmaids—I had to cut out all but my two best friends, since I have so many sisters and future sisters-in-law in the party. Another very close friend has been angling for a spot. How do I tell her she didn’t make it?

Avoiding the topic until she gets the hint may seem like the easiest, least-painful way to do things—but we know from experience it can breed long-lasting resentment. We suggest breaking the bad news to her gently and quickly. Take her out for coffee and be honest about your situation—your family and his took up so many spots in the wedding party that you couldn’t ask everyone you wanted.

Let her know that she’s still one of your closest friends, and as such, you’ve got another special role all lined up for her—whether it’s doing a reading or handing out programs to your guests.