Attendants and Guests

How to Have Happy Guests

Keep your invitees calm, cool and collected with these wedding-day de-stressors.

Finding a wedding invitation in the mail brings instant delight to the vast majority of the population. The sad truth is, however, that weddings aren't always unadulterated fun for the guests. In fact, if disgruntled guests could speak (and unfortunately, they often do), here's what they'd like to tell you.

Serve an entree that most people like. Guests report that while they do enjoy trying something new, they prefer that exotic dishes appear as appetizers rather than as the main course.

Don't make guests feel they must bring a date. Single, unattached wedding guests feel panic when they get an invitation addressed to "Jane Smith And Date." The proper way to handle a single guest's invitation: find out if he or she has a significant other; and if so, address the invitation to both of them. Otherwise, address the invitation only to the single guest. You can let guests know with a phone call that they are welcome to bring someone.

Don't crank the music constantly. There is nothing more frustrating to guests than trying to talk over music that is simply too loud. During meals, it's best to tone things down so that your family and friends can converse normally instead of shouting, or even worse, just giving up and eating in silence. Save the higher volume for times when your guests are ready to dance!

Don't drag it out. A few of our guests reported having attended wedding receptions that seemed to go on forever. Aware that tradition dictates that guests should not leave the reception until the cake has been cut, these guests lingered...and lingered...and lingered. If you would like to stay at your wedding reception until the last moment (and many couples do, taking the opportunity to spend time with people they don't often get to see), be sure you plan your cake-cutting ceremony at a reasonable hour so that guests who wish to go will feel comfortable doing so.

Relax and enjoy your own party. Some guests told us that they could tell when the bride and groom were spending too much time worrying about things going exactly as planned rather than allowing themselves to simply have a great time. Accept the fact that once the reception begins, it's too late to worry much about what might or might not happen, anyway. Everyone who has ever been to a wedding will attest to the fact that the more fun the bridal couple is having, the more fun everyone will have.