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| Toasts |
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| At a wedding, toasts serve
several functions: They introduce the bride’s former
world to the groom’s, and vice versa; they lend
an appropriate weight to the anecdotes of courtship
that will become a part of the couple’s family history;
and they give the bride and groom a chance to publicly
pay personal tributes to each other. |
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At the Reception
With dinner, dancing, and cake vying for everyone’s
attention, toasts at the reception should be short
and formal. Traditionally, they are given just after
the dinner plates are cleared, first by the best
man to the couple, then by the couple to their parents
and to one another, and finally by the bride’s father
to the guests. These rules aren’t appropriate for
every wedding, however, and can be altered to suit
a couple’s wishes. A mother or bridesmaid may say
the first toast, or the couple may begin by welcoming
everyone to their wedding. |
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At the Rehearsal
Dinner
At the more intimate and casual rehearsal dinner,
toasts often become a free-for-all that extends
well into the evening. But they are usually kicked
off by a toast from the groom’s father, who is the
official host of the night. |
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Preparation Time
Two to three months before the wedding, the couple
should make three things clear to everyone involved:
who will make the first toast, when it will take
place, and how it will be signaled or announced.
If the rest of the toasts are to follow a set order,
that too should be specified. Knowing what’s expected
makes the toasters’ roles much easier. |
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PREPARING
A TOAST
Are you frightened by the prospect of speaking in
front of a group? These feelings are common, says
Joyce Newman, president of the Newman Group, a company
that trains people in public speaking. She claims
that most people are not naturally confident; they
have simply learned how to keep their fears from
getting the better of them. |
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Planning
The first step is to plan what you are going to
say. Spend some time collecting your thoughts, recalling
moments with the bride or groom, and thinking about
the message you want to convey: What do you want
their friends and family to know about them, individually
and as a couple? What feelings do you want to share
with the bride and groom at this remarkable moment?
Don’t try to make a toast that doesn’t suit your
character. If you’re naturally shy or serious, leave
it to others to be brilliant and hilarious; instead,
aim for something simple and honest. |
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Practicing
Second, rehearse your toast. “Practice it with a
mirror, with a friend, with your dog,” suggests
Newman. “Don’t practice it in your head... It’s
important to make sure that you can say the words
out loud.” Rehearse a few times, but don’t memorize
it word for word. Otherwise you’ll spend your moment
in the spotlight rifling through your memory banks
rather than connecting with the audience. Plus,
if your memory skips a beat, you’ll flounder, possibly
forgetting some key bit—and you can’t stand up afterward
and say, “I’m going to be passing out some supplements
to my toast later.” |
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| The best man and fathers of
the bride and groom often have several important
points to make and may want to outline them on a
note card. But the rest of the guests should keep
their toasts to less than three minutes, which is
just enough time to recount one story or convey
one key idea. |
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