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| Presenting a Toast |
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| Once your turn to toast the
bride and groom approaches, there are ways to cope
with sweaty palms and a thumping heart. “First of
all, know what your own bodily reaction is,” Newman
says, “and expect it. Then, instead of looking at
it as a negative, look at it as an old friend. I
personally get very cold before I speak to groups,
and I now see that as a signal that all systems
are go. |
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| Avoid advertising your anxiety
by apologizing as you begin to speak. Chances are,
no one will notice how nervous you are unless you
point it out, and since stage fright usually passes
after the first few words, you’re better off forging
bravely ahead. |
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| “Another thing we encourage
people to do when they get up there,” says Newman,
“is to take a moment, take a breath, count to three,
look at the bride and groom (or whomever you are
toasting), and start speaking directly to them.”
Addressing a friendly face will add warmth and life
to your presentation and will remind you to keep
your chin up and your voice slow and clear. |
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| A toast should end with a drink
by everyone except the people to whom it’s presented.
The other guests needn’t drink much, and it needn’t
be alcoholic, but they should never refuse to join
in; it’s impolite and considered bad luck for the
couple. Of course, there’s a catch when everyone
has his own drink to quaff: If toasts last an hour
or more, the last people in line—often the very
ones who have postponed their toasts out of nervousness—may
find themselves quite tipsy by the time their turns
roll around. Any guests tempted to drown their nerves
in champagne should be encouraged to present their
toasts as early in the evening as possible. |
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| A final note: Take heart from
the fact that no one’s liable to remember all the
details of your toast anyway. The bride and groom
are lost in a happy blur, and the other guests are
busy having a good time. After the celebration ends,
the main thing everyone will recall is the effort
you made to share a few carefully chosen words in
honor of the wedding day. |
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