My mother is insisting I ask my married
sister to be my honor attendant, but I would prefer to ask
my former college roommate. Should a relative or the bride's
closest friend fill this top position?
There is no rule saying you must ask your sister to be your
matron of honor. Rather, you should ask the person you feel
most deserves the role. But it's not surprising your mother
wants the spot to go to your sister—after all, you are
both her daughters and no doubt she wants to imagine there
is no one closer to you in the world.
Why not compromise? It is perfectly acceptable to have two
honor attendants. Ask your sister to be the matron of honor
and your friend to serve as maid of honor. They can split
the typical duties of honor attendant; for example, your sister
could host the shower and your friend could plan the bachelorette
party. With two special attendants, you can rest assured that
no task will be left undone on your big day.
There is no rule saying you must ask your sister to be your
matron of honor. Rather, you should ask the person you feel
most deserves the role. But it's not surprising your mother
wants the spot to go to your sister—after all, you are
both her daughters and no doubt she wants to imagine there
is no one closer to you in the world. 
