The Modern
Jewish Ceremony
The basics of Jewish nuptials, with twists for contemporary
couples.
Thinking about having a Jewish wedding ceremony? Here are
the most common customs, along with up-to-date alternatives
you can easily incorporate into your own contemporary celebration.
The Ketubah
Traditionally, the Ketubah was an Aramaic document that not
only avowed the bride's acceptance of the groom's proposal,
but also declared that the groom had acquired the bride and
agreed to support her—eeck! Obviously, the original contract
doesn't work for the modern British couple.
Recently, however, couples are re-embracing the Ketubah as
an important part of their marriage plans. Only now, the document
includes a vow of commitment from both the bride and the groom,
plus a declaration of the couple's dedication to God and the
Jewish people. Signed by the bride and groom, their rabbi,
and two witnesses, today's Ketubah is a statement of the couple's
loyalty not only to each other, but also to their faith.
In addition to changing the wording, many couples hire professionals
calligraphers to write their Ketubah. And artists decorate
the document with symbols of love and family for the bride
and groom to display in their new home.
The Walk to the Chuppah
The chuppah is a canopy, sometimes lavishly adorned with flowers,
that symbolizes the home. In the Jewish tradition, both of the
groom's parents walk him down the aisle to the chuppah. Then
the bride and her parents follow.
Circling
Under the chuppah, the bride traditionally circles around her
groom either three or seven times, some say to create a magical
wall of protection from evil spirits, temptation and the glances
of other women. Others believe the bride is symbolically creating
a new family circle.
Today, the bride and the groom can circle together or around
each other, demonstrating independent and complementary orbits.
Breaking The Glass
After the ceremony and before leaving the chuppah, the groom
steps on a glass wrapped in cloth. This act has many interpretations,
both religious and nonreligious. The shattering of the glass
can be considered symbolic of the destruction of the Temple
in Jerusalem or of the horrors the Jewish people have suffered
through the ages.
To some, however, the breaking of the glass is a reminder
of the fragility of life and an affirmation that in times
of happiness there should be a touch of seriousness. It also
serves as a reminder of the sanctity of marriage—a broken
glass cannot be mended.
Yichud Or Seclusion
Following the ceremony, tradition dictates that couples spend
approximately 18 minutes in yichud (or seclusion). This wedding
custom allows the newly married couple to reflect privately
on their new relationship and allows them precious time alone
to bond and rejoice.
It's also customary for the bride and groom to share their
first meal together as husband and wife during the yichud.
Customary meals differ from community to community and can
range from the "golden soup" of the Ashkenazim (said to indicate
prosperity and build strength) to chocolate chip cookies from
Grandma.
Jewish or not, it's a great idea for any couple to enjoy
their first few moments as husband and wife alone together—what
a romantic way to wind down before the festivities!
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