Strike the Right Note with Your Playlist

We’ve all been to weddings and heard lots of music.

We can also remember when we truly enjoyed the music or sat in our chairs rolling our eyes. Here are a few quick tips to help you express your musical style on the dance floor.

Be Yourself
People enjoy weddings that aren’t necessarily identical with the other 80 they attended this year. The music you select for your wedding should have passion and power and be dipped in your personality—basically, the ingredients that music fans seek out all year long.

Band or DJ?
Decide whether you want a band or a DJ. Certainly DJs cost less and can offer a wider range of music. But there’s nothing like live music for excitement and grand effect. Nowadays some couples are even hiring more than one band to get very different sounds (a band that plays traditional music, plus something else more fun for later on). They’re also experimenting with having both a DJ and a band: While the DJ is spinning Latin, for example, a percussionist can play along.

Communicate Your Taste
You want someone you really can make beautiful music with. Our wedding was out of town, so we began DJ selection by the proven, scientific method of flipping through the Yellow Pages and interviewing over the phone. While obviously not as effective as being there in person, it nevertheless provided enough material for a fine first impression. I was lucky. My DJ was engaging, knowledgeable and witty. He also fit my most important criterion: He didn’t seem to mind one whit if I exercised megalomaniacal control over him. I simply knew what my wife and I wanted to hear, I knew what my friends wanted to hear, and I wanted the greatest night of my life to be distinctive and personal. All told, it worked beautifully—twice I went to request a certain song only to find that the DJ already had it lined up to play next. Now, you may not find that kind of synergy, but you likely know what you want and you need the DJ to understand your taste.

Create a Playlist
Create a playlist. Some bandleaders say old songs are popular and suggest that a bride choose Cole Porter or Gershwin for her first dance with her new husband. Then the couple may mix the wonderful old tunes with top 40 numbers. Put in writing what you want to hear—and what you absolutely do not want to hear. If you don’t, you may find that your DJ or bandleader goes off on random, unexplained detours into disco or Vanilla Ice. Also, if you’ve got your heart set on something that wouldn’t necessarily be in a DJ’s catalog, bring it yourself and be sure it’s there. At my reception, a friend had to sprint back to the hotel—in full wedding regalia—to pick up a CD when one key track turned up missing.

Burn Your Own Stuff
If you want to make sure your DJ plays a certain remix instead of the CD version, or a live version instead of the studio version, or this particular live version as opposed to that other live version (I’m talking to you, Dave Matthews and Phish people), do it yourself. These days, CD burning couldn’t be easier or cheaper, and it will make a fine keepsake.

Involve a Local Angle
For something a little different and very personal, hire a friend’s band (as long as it’s good, of course!) or an excellent band that played at the bars you frequented when you and your fiancé were dating. This is a fine way to inject a heady dose of nostalgic energy into the proceedings and bring the party together.

Get Technical
Good questions to ask: Will your band fit into the space you’re renting? Is there sufficient power for its needs? What equipment should it bring? (Your hotel venue won’t necessarily have a piano, so your bandleader will need to be told if he should bring one.)

Get it all in Writing
Have your DJ sign a contract in his own blood agreeing to adhere to your wishes. Settle on fees, including overtime, and the hours the band will work. Make sure you know exactly who will be playing at your reception and get that into the contract. The musicians should have liability insurance.

The Bottom Line:
The reception’s the fun part; it’s when all the work is done and all the vows have been vowed. Kick back and relax, and remember that here, as much as elsewhere, it’s your show.