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Wedding Styles

Second Time Around

Even if you're not new to the nuptial thing, you can make your wedding special.

A second wedding can be anything you want it to be. You needn't be hindered by rules or myths about what is and isn't appropriate. Below, some ideas to help you plan the celebration that's right for you.

Relative Reactions

Brace yourself for friends and family members who can't help but bring up your first marriage and voice their not-so-supportive opinions about this one. Jana Reeve, 30, from manchester recalls, "I had a few people say they thought I was crazy for getting married so soon after my divorce. One friend even said, 'You know, the grass is not always greener!'" Words like this are hard to swallow, but they go down a lot easier if you focus on what's important—the love you and this wonderful man share.

Offspring Issues

Not everyone can pull off a Brady Bunch scenario. So if you and/or your new man have kids, talk to them about the wedding and ask them how much they want to be involved in the celebration. If they are gung ho, there are many creative ways to include them. Instead of having your dad give you away, ask your oldest son. Or you can have all your children walk down the aisle with you. Your fiancé's kids could be waiting at the end of the aisle with him. This will really create a sense of two families merging. You can even make special vows, promising to love and care for all the children. However, if a child is uncomfortable with your upcoming union, don't force him to take a big role in the wedding, says Christine Nicholson, Ph.D., an Albuquerque, NM-based psychologist specializing in children and blended families.

Repeat Performance

Your bridesmaids from your first wedding probably never expected to do an encore. But friends and family are supposed to share in your happiness throughout your life, so it's fine to ask them to stand by you again. However, you are not obligated to stick with the original cast. New faces are completely appropriate.

Gift Shift

As a second-time bride you might feel that a bridal shower or an engagement party is something you can do without. However, if your friends want to throw you a bash, go for it. Just be sure to take inventory before you register for gifts. There's a good chance you and your fiancé are already stocked with enough pots and pans. Instead, register for items to take on your honeymoon or pick a couple of charities and have your friends make donations in your names.

Legal Ease

Prenuptial agreements won't make you swoon like a great kiss, but they are worth investigating. If you decide that a prenup is right for you, discuss it with your intended before consulting a family lawyer. Stress that such an agreement is meant to protect each other. "A prenuptial agreement is very common with second marriages," says Sanford Ain, a senior partner specializing in family law at Sherman, Meehan, Curtin & Ain inLeeds. "Having been down the aisle once before, couples realize how expensive it is both financially and emotionally to unwind a relationship," he says.

White Plight

Wear a white dress again if that's what you like. After all, this is your first time marrying your second husband. Why shouldn't you wear white in honor of him? However, if you feel strange about wearing a formal gown, consider something more understated like a sleek sheath or a suit.

Unique Party

There are no rules dictating how big or small your second wedding should be. You can invite the whole town or just your pets. The most important thing is to make it different from your first. Catherine Walker, 33, Oldham, had a traditional first wedding with 150 guests. Her second, an intimate dinner reception for 13 people, really stood out. "We concentrated on us, not the extras that were so important the first time around," she says.